Can I just say that The 5 Money Personalities book by Scott and Bethany Palmer is such a blessing to me and the hubby? This is definitely one of those books we hope we have gotten hold of early in our marriage. In our 12 years of being married, there were countless of times that we got frustrated at each other over the way we value and spend money and how differently we see money in general. Bringing us to points in our lives when we tend to think my way is superior than his (and vice versa).
Apparently, just like each individual has his or her own “Love Language,” we also have our own Money Language (and secondary one) as per the “Money Couple,” Scott and Bethany Palmer. My husband and I started reading this book (we read together using his iPad), around the same time we started our 52 Week Money Saving Challenge 2013. I thought it cannot be more timely. While it may have something to do with money, the book actually has little to do with tips on saving money. The 5 Money Personalities made us understand more about our “Money Relationship.”
While that might have sounded a little awkward, believe me when I say I kind of felt that way when I first skimmed through the book, but what it teaches totally made sense. It cannot be denied: Money is the root of so many broken marriages. Check out the divorce and annulment statistics. As the Money Couple said, “you and your spouse have a Money Relationship. It’s at the core of the way you make decisions about money. Understanding how that Money Relationship works is essential to a thriving, healthy marriage.”
When the Money Couple professed that they have “cracked the code,” I first thought, “Okay, that was very confident for them to claim!” But when we read along (chapter by chapter like we always do when Jeff and I read together), we found ourselves looking at each other and agreeing, “yes, that’s you and that’s me” with a lot of oohs and ahhs in between.
To give you an idea, the book is broken down into 3 major parts. Part 1 talks about “It’s All About the Money.” Part 2 talks about “The Heart of the Matter and Part 3, “Reclaiming Your Marriage.”
The first part introduced the 5 Different Money Personalities:
- Risk Taker
- Security Seeker
The book gave us the link to the Money Personality test on the web, filled in our details, but never received any mail as the instruction said. Not too sure what was up with that. Anyway, given the many examples and the detailed explanation on the first part of the book, we were able to identify our respective Money Personalities. As we were expecting, Jeff and I are the total opposites. I’m a Security Seeker and he, a Flyer. Yikes! If you know what that means, it has the ability to create serious tensions and conflicts. Then there are our secondary money personalities. Discovering our respective Money Personalities is quite a revelation in our 12 year marriage.
It is just liberating to know that choosing to love each other unconditionally on a daily basis can’t be all that hard anymore. We can actually come to a point where we can understand each other’s completely different way of dealing with money. No more having to point fingers or shake our head in disapproval over what we formerly thought our spouse’s seemingly idiotic way of handing money. Going beyond that and seeing the dynamics of dealing with another money personality, in a marriage at that, we can see the beauty of God putting together two different and distinct individuals to still share one heart. What revelation! Although essentially, it’s not something you can easily get out of some Print Management Software. Applying the principles and understanding where your spouse is coming from can help a great deal.
We highly recommend The 5 Money Personalities by Scott and Bethany Palmer to all married couples. Get to the root of money arguments and actually learn to work together through them. The potential impact this book can cause married couples can be huge. Personally, it has been a source of blessing to our marriage. The Money Couple has indeed cracked the code for couples to effectively build a stronger Money Relationship.
Disclosure: I received this book from Thomas Nelson Publishing for review purposes. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.