It’s practically impossible to avoid conflicts in relationships, especially in marriage. Every marriage has its tensions. It’s actually not a question on how to avoid them, but rather it’s the skill one should get better at dealing with. Conflict can only go either way – intimacy or isolation. No middle ground.
I can not begin to tell you the varied conflicts my husband and I have, especially in our first year together. There were just moments that I can’t believe how he can live with himself. Then after a while when my emotions drop down, I just realize, it was over a piece of toilet paper hung on the holder the wrong way! I just could not understand then why he does not know that there’s a proper way of hanging that roll of tissue (for those who don’t know, toilet paper are designed to hung like a tongue and not for the paper to hung from the bottom-check out some brands having one sided prints. See it makes sense. Haha!) But that’s another story. My point is, there are several conflicts in marriages, from ridiculous to the more serious ones.
Conflicts often start from the smallest of things. But fact is, it is those little things that rob a marriage of its romance, the very atmosphere of oneness. These little things, whatever they are, left unresolved can lead to bitterness, pent up emotions of anger that snowballs in time and loneliness. There is joy in marriage and conflicts that are not dealt with makes the souls of both husband and wife callous.
I would often be told by husband that he is thankful that I get into the very core of our conflicts and pursue all the answers to questions-in detail. His diplomatic personality would tend for him to avoid confrontations. I really have no intention to live with my husband with any questions in mind about anything. I want to fully trust him. I have seen enough marriages going through the motions just because. I want none of that.
Being able to deal with conflicts of whatever size, even as you come to know your spouse better through the years actually makes a better you. The real key is to deal with any conflict. To dismiss anything at all is stepping towards isolation in the long run.