I have posted about the importance of physical intimacy and how it is supposed to be a place of rest for married couples, today I want to share another thing I read from the book “Intimacy Ignited” by Dr. Joseph and Linda Dillow and Dr. Peter and Lorraine Pintus.
Looking back at Song of Solomon 1:14, we recall the place called Engedi, or physical intimacy between husband and wife, which is a place of rest. In 1 Samuel 24:1, Engedi is used by David as a stronghold, a place of refuge for he and his men. Like Engedi, sex or physical intimacy between married couples, must be a safe place where they can temporarily escape from the assaults of life. After all, God designed the husband and wife’s intimacy to be a safe place where they could be “naked and unashamed” (Genesis 2:25).
The intimacy of a couple should have unconditional acceptance not conditional acceptance. It should have support and not a judgmental attitude. It should also show appreciation not a critical spirit. With regards to physical intimacy there must be sexual sensitivity not sexual demands.
Perhaps you feel that the positive descriptions above are not what you have shown to your spouse. What can you do to begin?
First, ask God to forgive you and your failings. Next, tell your spouse, “Please forgive me for __________________(name your wrong actions or attitudes). I understand why you havent always felt safe with me, and I am committed to changing that.” Finally, ask your partner what you can do to help him or her feel safe in your intimate physical relationship then strive hard to fulfill that.
Making marriage a place of safety can promote healing physically (place of rest) and sexually or other times the healing can be emotional.