What 8 years of marriage has taught me

I can’t believe our marriage is turning 8 years old in a couple of days! We tied the knot on Dec 8, 2001.  Here is a link to our love story. I cannot claim to have a perfect marriage with my ever dashing husband. That’s just highly unlikely in such a selfish world that we are all in. We’ve also had our not so good years. In fact, it took a special couple to mentor us to have us where we are right now. They were not just mentors but they also served as living examples of what God intended marriage to be. It took us a while to shape up. We were young and selfish, we made mistakes along the way but it was through the journey that the Lord molded us to the people that we are right now.


I cannot imagine myself not married to Jeff. When I look back to my single life, I realized that I practically threw it all away by being in all the wrong relationships. The void that I felt in my own family back then drove me to look for love and affirmation in all the wrong places. Although I was not spectacular, I have always believed that I have a good head on my shoulders and although I may not be as stunning as those who ramp the catwalk, I did have my share of admirers, a pretty good bunch of them, back during my single years. Now I can only hope I had someone who had walked me through my youth back then.  Which brings me to two of the things I am passionate about, intentional parenting and mentorship.

On intentional parenting, it is just not right to just let our children be and figure life out for themselves.  Growing up as a young person, my family was in utter disarray and we were all merely together to survive life and life is more than just that.  This is what happens when parents are not intentional.  Don’t get me wrong now, I love my folks.  I will not be here without them but I believe that they will be the first to own up to this and I’m sure that they are proud of the person that I’ve become now that I am a parent myself.  This is when God’s word just affirms itself over again. (And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.-Romans 8:28) So, what am I saying? There is a better way to nurture children beyond being able to provide for their everyday material needs. This is where being morally upright comes in.  If parents are able to compromise and live without integrity in their lives, there is no way we will be able to impact our child’s life positively.  We have all seen this local advertisement wherein a parent teaches a child to do what is right but fails to walk the talk.  That practically says it all.

And on mentorship. A mentor’s significance in a person’s life is so valuable that it can almost dictate a person’s future.  This is why I am privileged to be able to stand as a mother to a handful of ladies in church.  I see them bloom into beautiful ladies, maximizing their youth by making the right choices. The rewards are just overwhelming when I see them able to make a grasp of what it is like to live for the audience of One and more than just that, to  mentor younger ladies themselves! That’s just like multiplying myself several times over! The values we instill in the people around our influence just goes a long, long way.  And these are just the rewards here on earth.  The immaterial things that swells my heart and makes my cup full– the very things that the Lord overflows my heart with.  I am humbled and encouraged to keep moving forward.

I know I totally digressed.  But then again, I guess these two things I am passionate about are practically offshoots of being married to Jeff for 8 years.  When they say that married life just gets sweeter and sweeter by the year, I really couldn’t agree more.  There are just times when I look at him and be overwhelmed with joy that the Lord has allowed me to have this good of a husband.  After 8 years of marriage, I still believe I totally don’t deserve him.  True, he’s not perfect.  When I am in my selfish mode, I would still so wish he would be a little more of an “action person.”  I still get frustrated over our personality differences sometimes.  We are totally in different poles when it comes to personalities.  This is when the God factor comes in and weaves our imperfect personalities together like magic.  An overwhelmingly joyful married life is oh so possible and this is our thrust as MarriageandBeyond.com turns 2 this month and as our own marriage turns 8 this coming Dec. 8, 2009!

To Jeff: Happy 8th Anniversary to us, my love! God has been with us through those 8 years and my heart’s desire is to be an even better wife to you and a better parent and “mama teacher” to our little guy (we’re homeschooling and we love it!). My personal prayer is that the Lord will continue to use us to bless the people around our influence and for us to press on to glorify God in our lives! I love you so much Jeff and I just need to have to shout that to the world! 😀

What 8 years of marriage has taught me

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