As I mentioned in a review I have done of the most wonderful book, Fascinating Womanhood by Helen B. Andelin, I have read the softbound copy nearly thirty times. After acquiring an e-book copy several months back, I finally got myself to reading the Secrets of the Fascinating Womanhood and I am really thrilled how much more this is packed with very practical applications – as its primary focus, while the softbound book’s is more on the principles.
The first secret to the world of Fascinating Womanhood is ACCEPT HIM AS HE IS. This is something that I admit to having a hard time right from the moment my husband and I became a couple. Two individuals coming together from two different sets of family origin, with different values and upbringing, what should we expect, really. This is why a marriage really changes a person. You are taught to drop selfishness from the core of your being or suffer the consequences of holding on to it.
What does accepting really mean, anyway? Accepting your husband means NOT TRY TO CHANGE HIM. Accepting all his habits, weakness, dreams, or even lack of them, even his beliefs.
We have this valid excuse of wanting to change our man – for his own sake, right? But it never works. This is the primary reason why we have to choose right to begin with. If you got into a marriage with an alcoholic in tow, nobody is to be blamed but you. Men’s vices are the usual issues, alcohol, even smoking . With persistence, our men might even appear to have changed, but only on the outside. The only exception to this rule is if what you have to accept will put you and your children in danger — battery, physical abuse, etc. Otherwise, you have got to accept him at face value and it has got to manifest in your actions. Let him know that you do accept him. The moment he knows for sure that you accept him for who he is, he is more apt to change for the better, for you. But having this as an ulterior motive won’t work as well.
I love that there are actually things we could do to follow through this principle of accepting our husbands. You could begin by making a list of your husband’s masculine virtues. Read them every morning and night. This exercise actually made me realize how great my husband is. As he is, I actually shouldn’t have anything more to look for. No vices, we have different personalities, true. Which is the very root why I try to change him. Writing all the virtues down made me appreciate and admire Jeff all the more. Of course there are still more about this secret, but having the husband as a co-author of this blog, isn’t really gonna work for me this time. I wouldn’t wanna give myself away just like that. 😉 I still want him surprised and all, y’know. We’re going 8 years in our marriage and I really couldn’t ask for anything more. I will gladly send my dear friends a copy, I’m just an email away. All the world needs a better marriage and a better family.