I feel blessed to have a husband who I am a team with when it comes to parenting. Some have to do child rearing by themselves. Through past mistakes and sometimes no fault of their own, a handful of adults have to parent their child without a spouse’s help. While we see it as a challenge to train up a child, it is even doubly hard for a single parent.
While this is not the picture that God has planned for a child to grown up in, we have to remember that ours is not a perfect world. Wiser single parents will thrive and still teach their children the same godly principles in bringing them up even without a spouse present.
I may never know how it is to parent a child single handedly, but this much I know, honesty and integrity should be a priority. As a child grows, he or she will be driven to ask why the other parent does not live with them. Make sure to emphasize that even as you admit to your child that you committed a mistake in the past, that he is NOT a mistake. If you happen to be divorced or separated, emphasize as well that God’s plan is for husband and wife to remain married to each other for as long as they live. This is an important foundation you will be teaching your child. In the event that you fail to mention this to him, he may grow up thinking that the default of married couples is the same as your situation. Never speak evil of your former spouse. This will prove to be a challenge especially if you think you have enough reason to hold a grudge against him or her. Allow your child to form their own opinions of both his parents as he matures.
It is never easy to parent. Although everything happens for a reason, mistakes also can bear with it consequences that you have to put up with for the rest of your life. Plus the fact that it is not a perfect world. Parenting is not as easy as doing colon cleanse reviews, wherein you pick out a product and you are guaranteed to benefit from it. The founder of Campus Crusade for Christ, Bill Bright could not have said it any better:
I have thought of life like this: Whether Christian or not, we are all going to have problems in this life; Christian or not we will die one day. If I am going to be a Christian at all, I want all that God has for me and I want to be all that He wants me to be. If I am to suffer and one day die, why not suffer and die for the highest and best – for the Lord Jesus Christ and in His most worth cause!
And if God allowed you to be a parent, one of your purposes is to train up that child, regardless of your circumstance in your life. Problems will surely come. This is the same for every individual in the planet. We are not perfect but we have to serve as our child’s model and however we act or respond to things around us, will be picked up by him, whether consciously or subconsciously. We always have to keep in mind that as a parent, we become the loving authority to our child. Providing them the stability that isn’t yet present in their young minds. And that stability can only be possible if we have experienced God ourselves. The same principle applies that we cannot give what we do not have. Here is how you can have a personal relationship with the Lord. Read on the Life Change portion of the page. 🙂
Some single parents or even those who are in shaky marriages make the mistake of making their child as their confidant. You can do this when they have matured. Make it a point to let your child know that you look forward to seeing them happily married in the future while teaching them God’s principles along the way. Claiming God’s promise all along that he is “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows…” (Psalm 68:5) And the most important thing to remember, single parenting will never be a success in the absence of positive attitude. 🙂
The above article is published via Unblogged, PhilStar.com on August 30, 2011.