Learning how to express love for each other is very important for the family, especially for fathers like me. I grew up in a home where expressing love is not scarce, but my high school experience of becoming a Corps Commander taught me to be tough to the point that I unconsciously limit the emotions I show or express to other people and situations. But as a father, expressing love is an essential skill and habit to acquire. A few tips on how to express love to your wife and children are:
1) Through Affection
This may manifest in physical contact, like hugs, kisses, pats on the back, holding hands, etc. Studies have shown that fathers are one-sixth as physically affectionate as mothers are to their children. That’s as a father I need to take extra effort to show my son how I care. I’m glad that my son and I kiss and embrace a lot. I can feel how assured and secure my son is when I express my love to him this way. Another way of expressing love is…
2) Through Affirmation
This refers to the way we talk. We shape the people around us by the way we talk to them. The book of James mentions how powerful the tongue is. At home, we should talk to each other with a mindset that we are all team mates. We shouldn’t tear each other down but instead, build each other up and encourage each other. One of the favorite words my son loves to hear are, “Good job!” Every time he does even the slightest accomplishment especially when he does it out of his own initiative, he gets these words from me and my wife plus a hug and a kiss. And he receives all of these gladly, as if his heart becomes suddenly filled with love and he feels so affirmed. Sometimes he even hesitates receiving these words when they are given without sincerity. So affirmation needs to be genuine as we give them to our spouse and children. One other way of expressing love is…
3) Through Attention
This is probably the number one way a wife or a child senses love. My son feels secure when I am around. Everytime he sees me preparing to leave, he always asks me, “Papa, stay here?” And he waits for my response; I would either say, “Papa will go,” or “Papa will stay here.” When he hears the latter happiness is very evident , not that that he cries when I leave, because I give him the assurance that I’ll be coming back. But the happiness is obvious when he hears that I’m staying.
I would encourage readers to try these tips at home and see how it can strengthen families.