Yesterday was our (mine and Jeff’s) four years eight, months celebration. Towards the fifth year of our marriage, DH and I still fancy over who’s gonna greet the other first whenever the eighth of the month arrives. Yesterday, it was me. I texted him just a simple, “Happy 4/8!”. I felt the number made it sound impersonal when he texted back with a better worded message with I love you at the end. But that didn’t matter to him, he knew better. 
Four years, eight months and a day. I wish I could look back and say that it was all good. It was not. Marriage taught us a lot of things and I can say that we are both better people because of it. Although adjustments never stop, we know more of each other now than before. Being the process person that Jeff is, the hardest thing for me was to adjust, being the action person that I am. One of the things I have proven is that God uses circumstances in a person’s life to teach him/her and transform his/her character for the better. I have always been impatient. I don’t bother if people don’t get my pace, if they don’t get it, fine by me. That’s the high strung in me that mom calls. I will leave Jeff to say how I am as a wife but I must say that we balance each other out. We speak different languages of love, his primary is “words of appreciation” and mine is “quality time.” It really pays to speak each other’s love language because when we do, we fill each others hearts to overflowing.
I call myself blessed because God has given me the kind of husband that I have. His dedication to what he does and his persistence makes him stand out, even when I see all the reasons to quit. Even as I remember praying at 11 or 12 years old that I wanted someone like him to be my husband, to prepare him, etc. (I have known this man from grade school.) And I dedicate my life to love, respect and serve him in a daily basis. That is something that’s not hard to do for a man like Jeff.
I have noticed one thing as the years go by, there is always a tendency to take each other for granted. Knowing that we will always be there for each other. And yesterday of all the days, shortly after our text greetings, there was a nasty change in the air. I got offended at how he sounded during our conversation over the phone, but he later realized and apologized. I just really thank the Lord that I am able to forgive easier now than before. That is one of the things the Lord has been dealing with me and how! I would say that I have gotten used to keeping my defense up, I have always felt I needed to be strong to keep the pain away. I’d say that this is an effect of my belonging to the family of origin that I do. I realized I can’t go on blaming the sins of my ancestors for the decisions I make today. It would be like a curse I’d be bringing with me and pass from my generation to the next. Only God knows how long has this been around. I will bless the generations that will follow mine through healing by dealing with the specific concerns and then giving my best. I’m still a work-in-progress and the Lord is slowly knocking down my wall of defenses (as I allow Him), and I must say that when I do. I’m liberated!
I was all in my domesticated glory when he came home last night. At most times, I would see to it that I have taken a bath, dinner’s ready and Jed is cooling down from the day’s activities. It so happened that he got up from his afternoon nap later than usual, so that means late dinner for him, that was why I didn’t get myself together on time. So when Jeff came home, he me just the same and surprised me with this It just touched my heart, and I felt so special to this person, my man, and after almost 5 years of marriage, I still look forward to forever with him.
