It took a while before I got hold of the copy of The Blessing by John Trent and Gary Smalley. I have been waiting for it for months until I decided to contact Thomas Nelson and opted to have the E-Book copy instead since there was no hint that the hard copy was to arrive anytime soon. It must have something to do with our local postal system and its infamous inefficiency. The Blessing is one of the best books I have read to date. Definitely another book to add in my growing list of favorites.

It was in our first year of marriage when we read Gary Smalley’s If Only He Knew, The Language of Love and another book on marriage which I forgot the title of. We lost them to Ondoy three years ago. The books were part of the library my pastor uncle shipped to us from the States. Reading through those marriage books during our devotional time as a young couple helped us a great deal. It allowed for a sturdy marital foundation that we both were not privileged to know growing up.

After several years of not reading Smalley, here he comes again impacting my heart through The Blessing.  I have cried quite a bit of times as I read it, not because it was a tearjerker of a book. More than that, I was able to relate to the insights Gary Smalley and John Trent shared.  Unlike the previous marriage books we have read by the author, this one is more of a parenting one. How parental approval easily becomes the driving force to do the things we do in our lives. Unconditional love is what every person longs for. The lack of it can bring about a whole lot of unresolved issues in our humanity.  While we can surely depend on God’s unconditional love any day, we are encouraged to give it to the very people that the Lord has given us… starting with our children.

Not only marriages, but individuals – and particularly children — suffer from the lack of a verbal blessing. Without words of love, acceptance and encouragement, children often grow up traveling one of  two roads that lead to unhealthy extremes: The Road of Overachievement or the Road of Withdrawal.

The blessing goes beyond parent-child relationship. Its results spill over into our and our children’s every other relationship througout our lifetime. These are the five elements of The blessing:

1. Meaningful and appropriate touch
2. A spoken (or written) message
3. Attaching high value to the one being blessed
4. Picturing a special future for him or her
5. An active commitment to fulfill the blessing

You totally have to read the book to get a grasp of the principles behind each element. Needless to say, this is one of my highly recommended books on parenting. Even if you are not a parent, this will surely pull at your heartstrings and maybe have you understand yourself more. This, aside from the book’s challenge to impact one child’s life through “blessing” him/her.  This could even bring about reinforcement for families undergoing healing therapies (i.e. malibu rehab treatment center or other similar issues). This book will also benefit teachers, pastors, managers as well and every other person who wants access to a life of quality filled with real joy. Precisely the abundant life God has in mind for us to live.

Children who are left to fill in the blanks when it comes to what their parents think about them will often fail the test when it comes to feeling valuable and secure. Spoken and written words at least give the child an indication that he or she is worth of some attention.

I’m giving The Blessing by John Trent and Gary Smalley my highest recommendation.

Disclosure: I received this book from Thomas Nelson Publishing for review purposes. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.

He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly.  Proverbs 13:24

Even parents should know that we do not have the liberty to just spank our kids on a whim. This is something that we do not take advantage of. There are guidelines for spanking that we should take care to heed to. Here’s from the spanking spoon that I recently bought to be included in Marriage and Beyond’s 4th Anniversary Giveaway.

1. Before spanking, consider the place and circumstances. Do not publicly embarass the child.

2. Ask “what is our rule?” or “What did daddy (or mommy) say?” –> You are making sure the child understood your instructions before you correct the child.

3. Ask “What did you do?” –> You are asking the child a personal responsibility for his or her action, THIS IS IMPORTANT!

4. Explain that your love with correction, say, “I love you and want to help you learn to do the right thing next time.”

5. Spank the child, give a few swift but painful swats on the buttocks. The child’s anger or mad cry should change to a softer “giving in” cry.

6. Comfort the child immediately after spanking. do not make the child feel rejected. Hold the child close and reassure him or her of your love. The parent/guardian who spanked should do the comforting.

7. If necessary, have the child make the restitution for the damage done.

The spanking rod’s handle reads “applicable for preschooler and gradeschoolers only” and the other side reads, “Guaranteed Butt Friendly.” We practice spanking at home because we love our son so much that we do not want him to grow up breaking the law and ending up in jail. Yes, that’s a pretty magnified consequence to growing up not following the rules. But something that’s also very real. It happens to the best of families. We follow the above guidelines and the result will speak for itself. We have not just a son who we can live with and understands the values of rules and the consequences of disobeying them. But a very social and confident young man as well. Those who have met him personally will attest to this fact. Spanking will help a child not just learn to obey authorities in the long haul but also respect the laws that are given for us for protection.

Before our son turned two years old, Jeff was already set on having him enroll in Trumpets. I think they still had classes at Shangri-la Mall that time. Our leaning was always towards Trumpets as opposed to the more popular pop school because my husband wanted our son to learn about music and sing the correct way. Since it was already a given that our son is musically inclined from before he could utter a straight word, it was best that his inclinations be nurtured the correct way right from the start. I remember showing my husband a free workshop offered by a pop school and all I got was a frown. Teehee!

At 2 years old Jed can play the drums along his favorite Kids Praise songs and w/correct timing, at that.

As for Trumpets, we were not able to go beyond telephone inquiry and we decided to avail of the services of the very talented Teacher Pau of UST Conservatory of Music instead. It was very convenient that Teacher Pau does music lessons right at our home. But when my husband and I got an invite from Promil for its i-Shine at Acting Trumpets Playshop event, we just had to check it out. Another convenience of homeschooling is that we can call off our classes and go take advantage of things like this. The workshop was held at the STI Center of Arts in The Fort, Taguig.

Promil Pre-School and Trumpets Playshop and the Philippine Association for the Gifted, offered some tips for parents to help them hone their child’s potential at home. Cecile Tamura, Vice President for Parents of the Philippine Association of the Gifted, said that the pre-school age is the stage of development where kids begin to apply what they have learned in their earlier years, with emotional development beginning to partner with their cognitive development.

Trumpets conducted an intimate workshop for the kids who were present

“The child is becoming more and more curious. The character of the child and his interests will begin to emerge at this age. He inquires a lot and he starts developing passion for some things,” described Tamura. Irene Delarmente, Trumpets Playshop instructor, also finds the pre-school age a good time as she feels that this is the stage that children are at their most curious and imaginative.

“I personally think that if you plant the ‘creative seed’ in them this early and continually nurture their interest, enthusiasm and passion as they grow up… chances are that they end up as artistic individuals,” continued Delarmente. “Children are basically ‘sponges’ and if you give them the proper guidance and encouragement, any lesson that you introduce to them at this age will potentially become habit-forming.”

Representatives of Promil, Trumpets Playshop and Phil. Assoc. for the Gifted

She also said that introducing the art of performing to pre-school kids is beneficial in a big way because they will mainly learn about the values of being more confident, self-accepting and sociable. This will actually work for the long haul. Whether he actually becomes the scientist or robot maker he said he wants to be and maybe do Lodging Jobs on the side. As he also mentioned wanting to have a resort of his own someday.

As homeschoolers, I also find this the perfect “supplementary class” for my son. Although he does not exactly have a socialization issue. But this will help him nurture the said important values. We saw how he thoroughly enjoyed the workshop and told us that he can’t wait to enroll in Trumpets. We were told that another batch will start classes this November and we are hoping to hear from them soon.

Thanks to Promil Preschool for hosting an event that more than just have our kids enjoy such workshop but more importantly, remind us, parents, about our pivotal role in the development of our children’s talents.

My son is growing up so fast that sometimes, I think he thinks and acts like a grown up man. Time really flies so fast, so they say. Even so, I can still remember when he was still a baby. Wherever we go, we always bring Baby Jed with us. Those times were not hard for my husband, Jeff and me, because we always have with us a baby travel gear, like the baby stroller gear that used to carry him. Stroller was very helpful during those times since  Jed is very active and we’re afraid that he won’t enjoy our trips when he’s not free to move if we just carry him with our bare hands or with just a simple baby carrier.

Now that he’s already six years old, I am still proud to say that I’m a hands-on mother; I personally take care of our little “man,” together with my husband, in order to raise him aright. We even decided to home school him not just so my professional license to teach will not go to waste but also because we feel strongly that this is the road that we ought to take.  It certainly is one of the best decisions we have made as a family.

During our teaching sessions, once in a while, I join him in playing with his educational toys that my husband and I gave him. Educational toys, like Melissa & Doug, are good quality educational toys that can make teaching (for me) and learning (for Jed) fun! With these toys, I was able to interactively teach him spelling (using the See and Spell toy), challenge his memory skills (with the Flip to Win Memory Game) and test his creativity (with the Nesting and Stacking Alphabet Blocks) and many more.

Our prayer has always been that our homeschooler will grow up to be a person that God has purposed for him to be.

As promised, I am giving a more detailed entry about Hi-Precision Diagnostics Laboratory‘s role in the early detection of our son’s bout with Dengue fever.  We first had our son take the Dengue NS1 test when he had fever last June.  It turned out to be viral.

Hi-Precision Diagnostics has a total of 14 branches. I still did not know before that they have a branch in Pasig, or if it was already open then. So our default was to their main branch in Del Monte Avenue, Quezon City.  Whenever I go to have my son’s blood tested, I always get asked if I had a doctor’s request. Both times, I don’t. I always choose to have the necessary laboratory result ready when we go to the doctor. That’s just me being prudent and practical.  It is for my own peace of mind as well. Even if the doctor won’t request for a laboratory test, with the Dengue fever incidents in the Philippines growing at such alarming rate, it really is better to be safe.

I was asked to fill out the Patient Registration Slip as soon as we got there.  During our first visit, I also had my son’s blood and Rh (Rhesus Factor) typing done, while he was already there for blood testing anyway. This earned him his Hi-Precision Diagnostics Patient Card.

The Hi-Precision Diagnostics Patient Card serves as his blood type card as well. My son’s blood type is printed on the covered portion of his card (above photo).  This card also serves as a discount card, 10% off on all laboratory tests.

As I mentioned in my previous Dengue post, I called the laboratory to schedule for a home service blood extraction. I could have been accommodated if I called a day earlier. Unfortunately, I called late in the afternoon, so their next day schedule was already filled up. So we went to the laboratory first thing the following morning. I already had a bad feeling about my son’s fever, given that it hardly responded to his paracetamol medication and the sponge baths that we gave him.

The medical technologists who do the extractions at Hi-Precision Diagnostics are really good. My son bravely announced that if it’s the same laboratory he was going to have his blood extraction done, then he’s okay. His basis was his first blood extraction with them which he said did not hurt at all.

The following are Hi-Precision Diagnostics Walk-In and Home Service Rates that I was able to inquire of. I did not ask for the home service rate for Blood & Rh Typing because I already had that done on our previous visit.  They also charge a home service fee of P450 for our place of residence. I think this depends on how far your place is from their laboratory.

NS1

Walk In  P 1,220                   Home Service       P 1,300

CBC & Platelet

Walk In        200                   Home Service               235

Blood & Rh Typing

Walk In        130

I think the price difference and the home service fee are reasonable, given that the patient will not have to travel to the laboratory and wait in line.  I’m thankful that we have access to such convenience despite our being third world country in so many counts.

I was given a piece of paper (above photo) with instructions on how to download the results online. They said to wait for the results to be available in four hours. I actually only had to wait for one and a half hours for the CBC Platelet result to be available. The Dengue NS1 came in around the fourth hour.

Hi-Precision Diagnostics played a substantial role in my son’s Dengue fever being detected early. When tests such as this is made available at our disposal, the number of deaths caused by this dreaded Dengue should go significantly low.

Hi-Precision Diagnostic Center, Inc. (Main Branch)
440 – 442 W. Long Building Del Monte Ave cor. Biak-Na-Bato, Bgy.Sienna, QC
Tel. No. 413-79-50
Fax No. 712-3471
Mobile: 0922-890-6664

Office hours: 6:00am to 6:00pm Mon to Sat
6:00am to 12:00nn Sundays

Website: www.hi-precision.com.ph

I flew back home yesterday from Davao practically groggy from lack of sleep. Spent time with my son while attempting to work on the side. He was blabbering about the many things he has been reading. But before that, we played “Hospital Story” on my phone for a while after our afternoon nap. I just had to sleep off the migraine that was kicking in.

When he just would not stop telling me about the solar system, facts about the moon, how a particular desert was once fertile enough that farmers toiled on it, I just thought I’d just stop trying to work altogether and give him my undivided attention. I thought of recording a video while he was deep in his thoughts.

It’s fun to see him enjoying all the books in his library at six years old! I can only remember loving to really read when I was in middle school. And he does not just read, he reads with comprehension and he started when he was four years old! Nurturing a love of reading in my son is one of the few things I am blessed to have been passionate about from the very start.

How did it all happen so fast?! It was towards the end of July when I was surprised to see my 6 year old son’s first two lower incisors peeking behind his still standing baby teeth. I am not sure what made me think of checking.  We were then killing time while waiting for my turn to have my wires adjusted. I remember checking just  a few weeks back and there was nothing yet.

For fear of sounding overly dramatic, I have  stalled on blogging about it. But then again, I was reminded that it was because of my desire to journal these milestones that I decided to start blogging in 2004, to begin with. Hence, blogging away, I am.  I can’t help but second guess myself if I was normal or not. Because it did feel like it was just nothing for my husband, when I broke the news to him. He was then with us.  His reaction was just plain, “Oh!”  As opposed to my being almost jumpy during that time. Thrilled but at the same time a little sad. Not the bad kind of sad.  It is, for one, some sort of coming of age moment for our son. Typing through this entry alone takes on a melodramatic mode. It all seems like yesterday when I was a struggling young mother and now my son is slowly moving away from my apron strings.

Every milestone is a step closer to cutting that apron string. I was reading about Hannah the other day(1 Samuel Chapter 1). It can be nothing less than faith that made her give Samuel to Eli’s care at such a young age! It was her vow to God and she kept her commitment. This is also why I’m giving my all in making sure my son grows up in the fear of the Lord. It is the vow I first made when I found out that we were pregnant with Jed. But that’s another blog entry altogether.

Going back to this developmental dental milestone, we were told by my son’s first dentist that the first permanent tooth is usually one of the molars. It usually appears when children are 6 years old. I just saw now that there are two or three molars already erupting inside my son’s mouth.

When I saw the first lower incisors behind my son’s baby teeth, I knew the baby teeth had to be taken out. Otherwise he might end up having crooked (sungki) teeth. There was no delaying to make way to condition my son’s mind to go about the procedure. I’m proud how my son did not fuss at all. I just had to explain to him that the teeth need to be extracted to make way for his new teeth. He was a little scared but he breezed through it and impressed Doc Pinky while he was at it. She said that it was uncommon for a six year old to not fuss during his first extraction.

photo taken the day after extraction. Doc Pinky advised our son to push the teeth with his tongue to properly position them with the rest of his teeth.

Doc Pinky’s assistant surprised him with a cup of ice cream after. It took Doc Pinky a while longer to extract the other tooth (the longer one on the first photo above). The first was a little weak already (ready to be pulled out), while the other was still pretty tough. Good thing that despite the dentist’s warning, after the anaesthesia wore off, my boy did not complain of any pain. We also got our brave little lad an extra Angry Birds stuffed toy to add to his collection under that usb barcode scanner he seem to be eternally fascinated in, when we went to the mall later that day. ‘Tis the bittersweet moments of parenting. I know there are a whole lot more coming. Bracing myself and choosing to savor every moment of it.

Be an Undercover Mother with Baby Bond Couture.  In a nutshell, the benefits of breastfeeding for the baby are: breastfeeding protects the baby against illnesses and allergies, improved vaccine effectiveness, enhances development and intelligence. For the mother, delays fertility (for some), decreases the risk of breast, uterine, ovarian, endometrial cancers and financial savings to the family. The cost to supply artificial baby milk (ABM) to one child is between $800 and $1,200 per year depending on the brand and area of the country. You don’t need to be a lactivist to figure this out.

BabyBond Couture – Cover mom, not her baby!

BabyBond covers the mom, not her baby. Mom is able to maintain her modesty. Baby remains uncovered benefiting from the infinite opportunity to make eye contact, interact, and communicate. After all, dining is social. Preverbal skills, eye contact and attention are vital to a baby’s cognitive and language development.

I learned that nursing tops are not really the cheapest when my son was still a baby. Here’s the better alternative. One lucky mom will be receiving this nursing accessory, hopefully, by the month of August. This contest is running from today until July 31, 2011 at 11:59PM.

Step by Step Instructions for both “Nursing from the top” or the “bottom of your shirt” is stitched right on the inner portion of the BabyBond Couture.

Nursing from Top

Nurse from the bottom of your shirt without having to expose your belly.

BabyBond Couture is adjustable and can be worn with shirts that are accessible to nurse from the top or the bottom. It rolls up into itself to store. BabyBond is machine washable, 100% cotton, and made in USA.

Contest Mechanics: 

1. You have to be a liker of Marriage and Beyond on Facebook.
2. Share this contest on your Facebook wall. To share, click on the Share button located either top or bottom of this post. On Facebook’s “what’s on your mind” status update box, tag Marriage and Beyond. Then post: “Marriage and Beyond is giving away a BabyBond Couture nursing wear via its Be an Undercover Mother with BabyBond Contest. JOIN NOW!”    (To tag, type the “@” symbol then follow it with “Marriage and Beyond.” Wait for the menu box to appear and select “Marriage and Beyond” Then type in the rest of the required phrase )
3. When you’re done with the Facebook status wall update, go to the comments section of this post and  enter the link of your Facebook entry with your name and email address.
4. Contest is open to all (international and local) and NOT RESTRICTED TO MOMS ALONE. I’m sure all of us know a mother or two who  can benefit from this fab nursing wear. The BabyBond Couture nursing wear will be sent to the shipping address of the contest winner. One entry per person, per day only.
5. Deadline for entries is July 31, 2011 at 11:59PM. Winner will be raffled off via random.org.

I received one or more of the products mentioned above for free using Tomoson.com. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. Sponsored by Tomoson.com

The Velveteen Bible from Thomas Nelson arrived a few days before Jed’s 6th Birthday. Since I ordered it around February, I totally forgot about it. I know how crappy our local postal system can get. So I was kind of not expecting to receive it altogether. But the timing cannot be more perfect.

Velveteen Bible (New King James Version)

Jed’s favorite Picture Bible was a gift from his Tita Rose. He’s had it since he was around 5 months old. So you can just imagine its now already tattered state. We can also see that our son is ready for a “real” Bible because he has started to borrow his father’s every time he will go look for a verse.

The Velveteen Bible nestled in a cute treasure box

He has yet to memorize the proper sequence of the books of the Bible, but Jed already knows how to use the Table of Contents to look for a particular book and go to the exact chapter and verses from within.

“Your word I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against You.” Psalm 119:11

Christ’s speech in red text and a yearly reading plan towards the last pages

Thomas Nelson Bibles come with Lifetime Guarantee

Suggested guidelines for the care and use of your Bible.

• With the first use of your Bible, carefully open it by placing the spine of the Bible on a flat surface. Open both the front and back covers and, with light pressure, run your fingers up and down as close to the binding as possible. Continue this process by pulling back a few pages at a time as you work your way to the center of the Bible.

• If pages are stuck together carefully rub the pages between your thumb and index finger to release them.

• To protect the spine of your Bible, do not bend the cover backward around the spine. This can cause the pages to fall out and break the binding.

• To further protect the binding, do not carry bulletins, notes, pens, etc. inside the pages of your Bible as this can weaken the binding over time.

• The pages inside the Bible are generally thin. Therefore, it is best not to use highlighters or felttipped markers to take notes or underline passages. Despite the fact that these writing utensils are often marked as “no bleed through” they will still be visible on the other side of the page. It is best to use either a ball-point pen or pencil.

• Protect your Bible from excessive heat or direct sunlight. Prolonged exposure will lead to fading and/or curling of the pages. Also, keep your Bible away from moisture to prevent the page edges from peeling, streaking, or spotting.

• To clean your Bible, it is recommended that you use a lightly damp cloth. Do not use detergents or packaged Bible cleaning products.

• The best way to preserve the supple condition of your leather Bible is to handle it. The natural oils from your hand keep the leather from cracking or becoming stiff. If you decide to purchase a Bible cover, remember to remove it and handle the leather cover occasionally.

Our 6 year old son and his brand new Thomas Nelson Velveteen Bible

Disclosure: I received this book from Thomas Nelson Publishing for review purposes. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.

Right from the time our son first had his Time Out when he was just a year and three months old, we already explained to him why there are rules. Merely saying “No” to a child will never be enough. Even as a child has got to do what he’s got to do – that is to explore, parents should as well do what they’ve got to do-  discipline, that is and explain the values behind rules.

Truth be told, rules go beyond just a list of Do’s and Don’ts. It is the very avenue that children learn values from that they take with them as they grow older.

Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

Let’s take for instance, teaching a child to pack away his stuff when he’s done playing. Even as a baby who still fitted perfectly in his baby jogger city select, we already tried to get that message across. As soon as Jed learned how to go around the house, he was already taught the importance of learning to pack his stuff away. It was before he turned a year old. And the good news about it is, since a child is new to everything in the world, he might as well learn that packing away is a part of playing and not a chore that he has to endure when he’s gotten tired of his toys. The better news that comes out of it all, now that he’s turning six, he’s so gotten used to it that he hardly needs to be told!

The values behind packing away is another thing that we had to teach him – neatness and self-discipline. Two of the things he can surely make use of as he grows to be a mature young man. Of course, not to mention the fact that he will be less of a headache to his wife in the future when he has a family of his own. It really can be done and it will not mean that you love your child any less when you teach him these things. It wasn’t so hard. There were not even tears along the way. This kind of discipline can in fact be done in a fun way–  communicating to him how much he is loved for you are looking out for his life in the long haul and not just for the here and now.

Jeff shared Three Simple Tips on How to Discipline. Discipline, after all is not a dirty word.  This is how we manage to raise a non-bratty unico hijo. It does not just allow us to have a child we can live with. It can also be the very vehicle that we can use to allow our children to have a life of quality.

One of the many things I have learned by being a hands on mom of almost 6 years now is the importance of showing my son I value him by allowing him to usher me in his world of play. It is often easy to see a kids ongoings as petty and all. But I find that it means a lot to him that I indulge him as he creates robots and out of this world creatures out of lego pieces.

Jed calls this his tunnel tree.

With a lot of things in my head as being the lone person to take care of the house (and everything else), you can just imagine how easy it is for me to get distracted and do something in between the conversations of one robot to the other.

It is also during these time when I get amazed at how creative a child can be. His creations of medical computer carts out of his toy pieces. I also noticed that he loves tying his toys together and just pretend them to be trains as he claims to be the train engineer. How he would rather create things from scratch.

These things, for the most part, are all but petty stuff for us adults and just don’t have the time for in our regular day. But it is about knowing more of your child than just being this energizer kiddo running around the house all the time. The skill of giving your child’s interests your undivided attention is an acquired one that we parents can get around to doing. It is telling your child that you have time for him and you are interested in his world. Five years and counting, I still consider myself a work in progress.

In connection with the blog post I published last year is this entry dedicated in defense of Babywise. I figured with my response as lengthy as the one I posted below, I might as well dedicate a separate blog on it altogether. But you will have to refer to the specific post on parenting to get hold of the exact context.

I don’t remember mentioning that Babywise as middle ground. I know a lot have labeled it as the other extreme and it could be for some reason. This is why there were just certain principles that we took from Becoming Babywise and it worked for us, still does. It did say that scheduling does not have to be rigid, you device a system where it will work best for all concerned.

Our son started sleeping through the night at two months and he is not undernourished in any way. In fact, all through his infancy up until now that he is five, all his developmental milestones (physical and otherwise) are all above average. Babywise has very practical and Biblical principles, if one will really look into it. Like not allowing babies to play with things that are not toys. It protects them from dangers that they could get themselves into otherwise. I cannot remember a moment when my husband and I had to run towards our son just to make sure he does not play with electric sockets or mealtimes will have to be a chore that turns into a chasing game.

Let us say that we were without helper or nanny and it forced us to instill this kind of discipline. But even if we do not pertain to said specific things, our son generally respects our authority. We did not allow for the battle of wills to exist in our home. Of course, we do not encourage Babywise to families with special child. It is a different story altogether if a child happens to have cerebral palsy or a special health condition.

“Freedom comes with responsibility.” What can be more practical than that? Why would any parent give a child to freedom to handle the remote control, for instance when he is not ready yet to know what it is for and it will just end up being dropped and broken. The book’s principles really make sense and it has been almost six years and we’re reaping the benefit of a well behaved, secure and loving child.

It’s a plus that I do not have to run around during meals to chase him and give him the food. It has been discipline that taught our son to stay seated until he’s done with his food, right from the time he was able to seat on his high chair. Why would I subject myself to unnecessary woes of motherhood when there’s a better way to enjoy parenting my son and train him up to be a disciplined individual right from the beginning?

It is also false to conclude that there is a danger for a child brought up Babywise way will grow up insecure. Whoever who has met our son will say otherwise. The stress is definitely non-existent in our family. Never a delayed weight issue right from infancy, as well. People should really investigate further on the principles behind BabyWise. This is coming from a family that has benefited from its principles right from day one.

We just hope to share here that all that we have practiced are off shoot from the choices we made as we choose to be intentional parents to our son through the years. If Babywise is not for other families, then it’s their choice. I have nothing against families who take up AP instead. That’s their choice. As for us we don’t get ourselves dictated by any type, whether AP or BW. We just take up principles that make sense and prove to be biblical, apply them and we see from there. So far, we’re good.

I took a plastic clay
And idly fashioned it one day;
And as my fingers pressed it still
it moved and yielded at my will.

I came again when days were past
The form I gave it still it bore
And as my fingers pressed it still
I could change that form no more.

I took a piece of living clay
And gently formed it day by day
And molded with my power and art
A young child’s soft and yielding heart

I came again when days were gone
It was a man I look upon
He still that early impress bore
And I could change it never more.

-Author Unknown

It is going to be an early “spring cleaning” for me this year. Although we don’t exactly have the season in this side of the world, we still call it as such. Force of habit. My assistant and I were sorting our books in our library. Turns out I still have a stack beside my workstation. Magazines, parenting books, even pamphlets with list of acne products that I have had for years. I was sorting through them when I saw this handout from the Homeschool Conference we attended last November 2008. We are hoping to hold a garage sale next week.:-)

Marriage and Beyond turns 3 years old today! From that fateful wee hour of November 27, 2007, when I finally had peace with the domain name to this post, being the 1, 466th. It took me from 9pm of Nov. 26 to 4am of Nov 27 when I claimed it as ours. All the good “family oriented” domain names must have been all taken and I wasn’t just about to settle for second best.

We originally planned to hold an anniversary contest just like last year’s. With one of our local Christian bookstore pledging their support of giving away good books about marriage and parenting. But because there are just too many things on our plate, I never got around to doing it.

We hope to continue to provide insight about marriage, child rearing, discipline and parenting in general as we prance towards our fourth year. Despite the obvious that we are monetizing this site, we make sure the integrity of what we believe in stays. Whether we mention company brands or write about nutrisystem reviews, we stand by the principles that we hold on to.

We are continually humbled when followers credit us for the things we do. But really, we give all the credit back to God. It is ultimately Him who has allowed us, through this site, to be a channel of blessing and provided for us even through this blog.

When I shared my thoughts and agreed with Dr. James Dobson on his take on how deal with a Strong Willed Child, I remember being sold out to every principle he shared in his book.

Three years after, my husband and I still share the same sentiment. We would not have overcome that phase of our son battling with our will (a.k.a. the Terrible Two phase), no matter how short that was, if it were not for the principles that we followed.

Being strong willed is not bad in itself. In fact, it can very well be a good sign of a child’s ability to be an overcomer when he grows up. The issue is to be able to get that message across that there are rules to follow. Chances are, if we give in to our child every time, he will not have a concept of following authorities for most of his life. This is the making of a brat,” as our society would have it. If only a child like that will help reduce belly fat, then his or her parent will forever be size zero. Training should really be done from the very beginning.

When we found out we were pregnant six years ago, we knew that we will raise up a child that we can live with. And as we progressed on parenting, we have learned how it is to raise a child that is not just a happy and secure individual but is also a blessing to those around him. And the good news is that this is all realizable. A strong will can be a good asset as long as the heart is in the right place. This is what we are to focus on as parents.

Whether a child is disciplined through spanking, a word, standing in the corner or facing the wall, the ideal way to end it is to sit the child down and run through what happened and explain why the discipline had to take place.

When we choose to conclude discipline time positively, we do not just talk about what took place and why his response was not right and why the discipline was necessary for him to learn. We also reiterate that we love him. Prayer after discipline reinforces the importance of being repentant and to be restored. We really do not need binoculars to figure all of this out. It is way easier to just let things be after the discipline. To choose to get the message across that love is the primary motive is the tougher choice. Otherwise, discipline will all be futile.

I love seeing my husband and son bond during bedtime, just before we say our family devotion. Our son loves being read to. Yes, even now that he knows how to read himself. He does read by himself during day time.  But now at 5, he either reads with us or prefers to be read to. A habit he got used to.

This is where my collection of electronics become really handy. Children grow up so fast that we have got to capture moments like this from time to time. My husband was reading through chapters 11 and 12 of Judges. At first, I got really shocked of his chosen book. That book can get gory, especially so that it was about Jephthah’s vow. Yikes! I was relieved that even as attentive as our son is during the Bible story reading, he didn’t ask a lot about it.

The story of Jephthah’s Vow is intense. Even given the fact that there is so much historical difference between our present culture and that of the Old Testament, it’s still something I find too intense. The topic is a very controversial one. But I’m glad that the Bible tells it as it is. It is interesting to note though that Jephthah is included in the Hebrews 11 Hall of Faith (Hebrews 11:32).

Our son is now familiar with a lot of stories in the Bible. Especially so that our current homeschool program incorporates Bible Reading as one of its subjects. His other subjects are Animal Science, Word Building and Math. You can read more about our homeschool journey via ChristianHomeschooler.info.

Father’s Day will be on June 20, 2010. That will be less than three weeks away.  While we cannot deny the reality of the epidemic of missing fathers, we should nonetheless celebrate fathers who have stood up as the head of the family that they are purposed to be. If truth will be told, a whole bunch of fathers are but taken for granted.  Just because they are expected to provide and protect their respective families, they should be left unappreciated.  Methinks fathers should be appreciated and affirmed more by their loved ones.

As much as I often hoped in my childhood that I did not have to witness all the dysfunctions in my family, my recollection of my father’s thoughtfulness will always be prominent in my mind.  He was always the more nurturing one between my mother and him. Definitely more thoughtful and generous with everything. In hindsight, I think the balance that mama was to papa was essential for the person that I have become. I remember so much more acts of thoughtfulness from him despite the fact that my parents were both working. One of which is when he’d always bring me a glass of milk before bedtime. All the thoughtfulness that he demonstrated from my childhood until I became a teenager and even up to now that I am married, make whatever shortcomings he ever had forgivable. Now that Father’s Day is fast approaching, the least that I could do is get him something special.  Which brings me to the thought that I have a couple of fathers to shop a gift for this coming Father’s Day.

As I must have mentioned more than a dozen of times in this page, I have such an exceptional husband for my son’s father. Not perfect. But exceptional, nonetheless. They have always said that the best way to love your child is to show him how much you love his mother.  And Jeff has not failed in this so far.  I am hoping that I will be able to get these two special fathers in my life something special to celebrate their fatherhood and let them know that they are appreciated and loved. What the hubby has mentioned lately is that he is in need of new pairs of men pants. His old ones won’t fit him anymore and I think I’d throw in a few ties as well, maybe an Xbox game that he likes. I would have to think of something for papa yet. I really hope to give him something that he will really like.

Happy Father’s Day in advance to two of the most loved fathers in my life!

Last Sunday, in between church services, I hopped into the Expo Mom 2010 Bazaar in Rockwell to take a peek at their ongoing campaigns. I specifically went to listen to the talks of Mommy Jen Tan of MomEx and the actress Mommy Dimples Romana on time management – It’s Time to Unlock the Secret to Your Child’s Success.

Time management is something that I am still trying to earn expertise on after 5 years of being a mother myself. It is a totally different page when motherhood steps in. And that is putting it lightly. Jen Tan’s first few lines came as a challenge for me. She asked for a show of hands for those parents who are saving up for their children’s future. An essential even as we try to impart the value of time management to our kids. The absolute truth remains that we cannot give what we do not have. As parents, we should also have a timetable set for that – to prepare for our kid’s education and future, amongst an array of other things.

Jen Tan expounded on the studies done by Dr. Edward Banfield, who is a noted Harvard sociologist and The American Journal of Health Studies. Jen Tan talked about how certain skills, such as planning for the future and the discipline to do what is important right away, helped children grow up to be financially and socially stable, successful adults. Interestingly, Dr. Banfield’s study proved that those who were able to plan their lives in five, ten or even 20 years into the future were able to map out their lives for success. His study also showed that factors such as education, intelligence, family background, race and occupation were not as crucial as time management.

Young mommy Dimples Romana shared her experiences as mother to Cal, the activities they do and make use of  to teach her child the most important aspects of time management through fun and enjoyable activities.  Reward boards and family calendars are exciting tools and activities that can help children find out how they manage their own time–from plotting how much time is spent on schoolwork to how much time is spent on play. This can then help your kids map out their week and devote more time for more important tasks and activities. You will also learn how get your kids to use fun watches such as Kids Watch Central time pieces to keep track of goal accomplishments and activities needed to finish their goals.

Makes me go back to how my husband and I nurture our son when it comes to time management. Our being intentional parents make us choose to walk the talk more than anything and then teach him the significance of time. This started off way before he knew how to tell time. Like for example, we’d say play time is up and it’s time to get himself ready for bath when the long hand on the clock is on a certain number. It also allows for him to anticipate what’s next and psyches him up to switch mindsets- that his play time will soon be over. This definitely takes tantrums out of the equation. At least for us.  Now that he can now tell time, it’s way easier to have him do what he needs to do at a set time. This will definitely be foundational to his value of time management which will pretty much make for a successful future that we all parents want for our kids.  Above is a picture of our little guy with his Action Man Kids Central Watch.

Kids Watch Central is located inside the Children’s Accessories area in leading department stores such as SM, The Landmark, and Rustan’s.

Celebrate a fun filled Mother’s day with the whole family as Eastwood Mall and Cradle present Mommy and Baby Fair 2010. This very special mother’s day treat will be on May 8 and 9 at the Eastwood Mall Open Park.

Come and have loads of fun with the whole family! Kids are sure to be entertained by balloon shows, bubbles shows, magic shows, mascots and many more! Dads, Moms and Moms-to-be are also in for quite a treat with a mobile spa, parenting workshops, breastfeeding workshops, photography workshops, seminars on skin care and much, much more!

Bring the whole family! Lots of freebies, prizes and other surprises await you especially for that special woman in our lives—dear MOM!

Program of Events:
May 8-9, 2010—11 am onwards
Amusement rides- Inflatable giant slide, mechanical surfride and mechanical bullride

Magic Show- Illusive group of Magicians

Bubble show

Balloon show

Photography workshop- imagine nation

Poise and personality workshop for Moms- john Robert Powers (pending)

Breastfeeding seminars-Latch

Spa and wellness – free spot massage CAPRICHOSA SPA

Exercise routine demo—Fitness First Eastwood (pending)

Mommy Make over seminar-AZTA URBAN SALON

Skin care seminar

Fashion show- mom and kid

Mommy Serenade by Top Suzara (formerly with Freestyle), Sunday-roses for moms

Raffle every hour

Photobooth