Marriage and Beyond

posted by Jennie on Nov 22

It took a while before I got hold of the copy of The Blessing by John Trent and Gary Smalley. I have been waiting for it for months until I decided to contact Thomas Nelson and opted to have the E-Book copy instead since there was no hint that the hard copy was to arrive anytime soon. It must have something to do with our local postal system and its infamous inefficiency. The Blessing is one of the best books I have read to date. Definitely another book to add in my growing list of favorites.

It was in our first year of marriage when we read Gary Smalley’s If Only He Knew, The Language of Love and another book on marriage which I forgot the title of. We lost them to Ondoy three years ago. The books were part of the library my pastor uncle shipped to us from the States. Reading through those marriage books during our devotional time as a young couple helped us a great deal. It allowed for a sturdy marital foundation that we both were not privileged to know growing up.

After several years of not reading Smalley, here he comes again impacting my heart through The Blessing.  I have cried quite a bit of times as I read it, not because it was a tearjerker of a book. More than that, I was able to relate to the insights Gary Smalley and John Trent shared.  Unlike the previous marriage books we have read by the author, this one is more of a parenting one. How parental approval easily becomes the driving force to do the things we do in our lives. Unconditional love is what every person longs for. The lack of it can bring about a whole lot of unresolved issues in our humanity.  While we can surely depend on God’s unconditional love any day, we are encouraged to give it to the very people that the Lord has given us… starting with our children.

Not only marriages, but individuals – and particularly children — suffer from the lack of a verbal blessing. Without words of love, acceptance and encouragement, children often grow up traveling one of  two roads that lead to unhealthy extremes: The Road of Overachievement or the Road of Withdrawal.

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posted by Jennie on Nov 18

He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly.  Proverbs 13:24

Even parents should know that we do not have the liberty to just spank our kids on a whim. This is something that we do not take advantage of. There are guidelines for spanking that we should take care to heed to. Here’s from the spanking spoon that I recently bought to be included in Marriage and Beyond’s 4th Anniversary Giveaway.

1. Before spanking, consider the place and circumstances. Do not publicly embarass the child.

2. Ask “what is our rule?” or “What did daddy (or mommy) say?” –> You are making sure the child understood your instructions before you correct the child.

3. Ask “What did you do?” –> You are asking the child a personal responsibility for his or her action, THIS IS IMPORTANT!

4. Explain that your love with correction, say, “I love you and want to help you learn to do the right thing next time.”

5. Spank the child, give a few swift but painful swats on the buttocks. The child’s anger or mad cry should change to a softer “giving in” cry.

6. Comfort the child immediately after spanking. do not make the child feel rejected. Hold the child close and reassure him or her of your love. The parent/guardian who spanked should do the comforting.

7. If necessary, have the child make the restitution for the damage done.

The spanking rod’s handle reads “applicable for preschooler and gradeschoolers only” and the other side reads, “Guaranteed Butt Friendly.” Read the rest of this entry »

posted by Jennie on Nov 3

Before our son turned two years old, Jeff was already set on having him enroll in Trumpets. I think they still had classes at Shangri-la Mall that time. Our leaning was always towards Trumpets as opposed to the more popular pop school because my husband wanted our son to learn about music and sing the correct way. Since it was already a given that our son is musically inclined from before he could utter a straight word, it was best that his inclinations be nurtured the correct way right from the start. I remember showing my husband a free workshop offered by a pop school and all I got was a frown. Teehee!

At 2 years old Jed can play the drums along his favorite Kids Praise songs and w/correct timing, at that.

As for Trumpets, we were not able to go beyond telephone inquiry and we decided to avail of the services of the very talented Teacher Pau of UST Conservatory of Music instead. It was very convenient that Teacher Pau does music lessons right at our home. But when my husband and I got an invite from Promil for its i-Shine at Acting Trumpets Playshop event, we just had to check it out. Another convenience of homeschooling is that we can call off our classes and go take advantage of things like this. The workshop was held at the STI Center of Arts in The Fort, Taguig.

Promil Pre-School and Trumpets Playshop and the Philippine Association for the Gifted, offered some tips for parents to help them hone their child’s potential at home. Cecile Tamura, Vice President for Parents of the Philippine Association of the Gifted, said that the pre-school age is the stage of development where kids begin to apply what they have learned in their earlier years, with emotional development beginning to partner with their cognitive development.

Trumpets conducted an intimate workshop for the kids who were present

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posted by Jennie on Oct 17

My son is growing up so fast that sometimes, I think he thinks and acts like a grown up man. Time really flies so fast, so they say. Even so, I can still remember when he was still a baby. Wherever we go, we always bring Baby Jed with us. Those times were not hard for my husband, Jeff and me, because we always have with us a baby travel gear, like the baby stroller gear that used to carry him. Stroller was very helpful during those times since  Jed is very active and we’re afraid that he won’t enjoy our trips when he’s not free to move if we just carry him with our bare hands or with just a simple baby carrier.

Now that he’s already six years old, I am still proud to say that I’m a hands-on mother; I personally take care of our little “man,” together with my husband, in order to raise him aright. We even decided to home school him not just so my professional license to teach will not go to waste but also because we feel strongly that this is the road that we ought to take.  It certainly is one of the best decisions we have made as a family.

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posted by Jennie on Sep 16

As promised, I am giving a more detailed entry about Hi-Precision Diagnostics Laboratory‘s role in the early detection of our son’s bout with Dengue fever.  We first had our son take the Dengue NS1 test when he had fever last June.  It turned out to be viral.

Hi-Precision Diagnostics has a total of 14 branches. I still did not know before that they have a branch in Pasig, or if it was already open then. So our default was to their main branch in Del Monte Avenue, Quezon City.  Whenever I go to have my son’s blood tested, I always get asked if I had a doctor’s request. Both times, I don’t. I always choose to have the necessary laboratory result ready when we go to the doctor. That’s just me being prudent and practical.  It is for my own peace of mind as well. Even if the doctor won’t request for a laboratory test, with the Dengue fever incidents in the Philippines growing at such alarming rate, it really is better to be safe.

I was asked to fill out the Patient Registration Slip as soon as we got there.  During our first visit, I also had my son’s blood and Rh (Rhesus Factor) typing done, while he was already there for blood testing anyway. This earned him his Hi-Precision Diagnostics Patient Card.

The Hi-Precision Diagnostics Patient Card serves as his blood type card as well. My son’s blood type is printed on the covered portion of his card (above photo).  This card also serves as a discount card, 10% off on all laboratory tests.

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posted by Jennie on Sep 15

I flew back home yesterday from Davao practically groggy from lack of sleep. Spent time with my son while attempting to work on the side. He was blabbering about the many things he has been reading. But before that, we played “Hospital Story” on my phone for a while after our afternoon nap. I just had to sleep off the migraine that was kicking in.

When he just would not stop telling me about the solar system, facts about the moon, how a particular desert was once fertile enough that farmers toiled on it, I just thought I’d just stop trying to work altogether and give him my undivided attention. I thought of recording a video while he was deep in his thoughts.

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posted by Jennie on Aug 18

How did it all happen so fast?! It was towards the end of July when I was surprised to see my 6 year old son’s first two lower incisors peeking behind his still standing baby teeth. I am not sure what made me think of checking.  We were then killing time while waiting for my turn to have my wires adjusted. I remember checking just  a few weeks back and there was nothing yet.

For fear of sounding overly dramatic, I have  stalled on blogging about it. But then again, I was reminded that it was because of my desire to journal these milestones that I decided to start blogging in 2004, to begin with. Hence, blogging away, I am.  I can’t help but second guess myself if I was normal or not. Because it did feel like it was just nothing for my husband, when I broke the news to him. He was then with us.  His reaction was just plain, “Oh!”  As opposed to my being almost jumpy during that time. Thrilled but at the same time a little sad. Not the bad kind of sad.  It is, for one, some sort of coming of age moment for our son. Typing through this entry alone takes on a melodramatic mode. It all seems like yesterday when I was a struggling young mother and now my son is slowly moving away from my apron strings.

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posted by Jennie on Jul 21

Be an Undercover Mother with Baby Bond Couture.  In a nutshell, the benefits of breastfeeding for the baby are: breastfeeding protects the baby against illnesses and allergies, improved vaccine effectiveness, enhances development and intelligence. For the mother, delays fertility (for some), decreases the risk of breast, uterine, ovarian, endometrial cancers and financial savings to the family. The cost to supply artificial baby milk (ABM) to one child is between $800 and $1,200 per year depending on the brand and area of the country. You don’t need to be a lactivist to figure this out.

BabyBond Couture – Cover mom, not her baby!

BabyBond covers the mom, not her baby. Mom is able to maintain her modesty. Baby remains uncovered benefiting from the infinite opportunity to make eye contact, interact, and communicate. After all, dining is social. Preverbal skills, eye contact and attention are vital to a baby’s cognitive and language development.

I learned that nursing tops are not really the cheapest when my son was still a baby. Here’s the better alternative. One lucky mom will be receiving this nursing accessory, hopefully, by the month of August. This contest is running from today until July 31, 2011 at 11:59PM.

Step by Step Instructions for both “Nursing from the top” or the “bottom of your shirt” is stitched right on the inner portion of the BabyBond Couture.

Nursing from Top

Nurse from the bottom of your shirt without having to expose your belly.

BabyBond Couture is adjustable and can be worn with shirts that are accessible to nurse from the top or the bottom. It rolls up into itself to store. BabyBond is machine washable, 100% cotton, and made in USA.

Contest Mechanics:  Read the rest of this entry »

posted by Jennie on May 23

The Velveteen Bible from Thomas Nelson arrived a few days before Jed’s 6th Birthday. Since I ordered it around February, I totally forgot about it. I know how crappy our local postal system can get. So I was kind of not expecting to receive it altogether. But the timing cannot be more perfect.

Velveteen Bible (New King James Version)

posted by Jennie on Apr 9

Right from the time our son first had his Time Out when he was just a year and three months old, we already explained to him why there are rules. Merely saying “No” to a child will never be enough. Even as a child has got to do what he’s got to do – that is to explore, parents should as well do what they’ve got to do-  discipline, that is and explain the values behind rules.

Truth be told, rules go beyond just a list of Do’s and Don’ts. It is the very avenue that children learn values from that they take with them as they grow older.

Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

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posted by Jennie on Feb 5

One of the many things I have learned by being a hands on mom of almost 6 years now is the importance of showing my son I value him by allowing him to usher me in his world of play. It is often easy to see a kids ongoings as petty and all. But I find that it means a lot to him that I indulge him as he creates robots and out of this world creatures out of lego pieces.

Jed calls this his tunnel tree.

With a lot of things in my head as being the lone person to take care of the house (and everything else), you can just imagine how easy it is for me to get distracted and do something in between the conversations of one robot to the other.

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posted by Jennie on Jan 26

In connection with the blog post I published last year is this entry dedicated in defense of Babywise. I figured with my response as lengthy as the one I posted below, I might as well dedicate a separate blog on it altogether. But you will have to refer to the specific post on parenting to get hold of the exact context.

I don’t remember mentioning that Babywise as middle ground. I know a lot have labeled it as the other extreme and it could be for some reason. This is why there were just certain principles that we took from Becoming Babywise and it worked for us, still does. It did say that scheduling does not have to be rigid, you device a system where it will work best for all concerned.

Our son started sleeping through the night at two months and he is not undernourished in any way. In fact, all through his infancy up until now that he is five, all his developmental milestones (physical and otherwise) are all above average. Babywise has very practical and Biblical principles, if one will really look into it. Like not allowing babies to play with things that are not toys. It protects them from dangers that they could get themselves into otherwise. I cannot remember a moment when my husband and I had to run towards our son just to make sure he does not play with electric sockets or mealtimes will have to be a chore that turns into a chasing game.

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posted by Jennie on Jan 18

I took a plastic clay
And idly fashioned it one day;
And as my fingers pressed it still
it moved and yielded at my will.

I came again when days were past
The form I gave it still it bore
And as my fingers pressed it still
I could change that form no more.

I took a piece of living clay
And gently formed it day by day
And molded with my power and art
A young child’s soft and yielding heart

I came again when days were gone
It was a man I look upon
He still that early impress bore
And I could change it never more.

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posted by Jennie on Nov 27

Marriage and Beyond turns 3 years old today! From that fateful wee hour of November 27, 2007, when I finally had peace with the domain name to this post, being the 1, 466th. It took me from 9pm of Nov. 26 to 4am of Nov 27 when I claimed it as ours. All the good “family oriented” domain names must have been all taken and I wasn’t just about to settle for second best.

We originally planned to hold an anniversary contest just like last year’s. With one of our local Christian bookstore pledging their support of giving away good books about marriage and parenting. But because there are just too many things on our plate, I never got around to doing it.

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posted by Jennie on Oct 22

When I shared my thoughts and agreed with Dr. James Dobson on his take on how deal with a Strong Willed Child, I remember being sold out to every principle he shared in his book.

Three years after, my husband and I still share the same sentiment. We would not have overcome that phase of our son battling with our will (a.k.a. the Terrible Two phase), no matter how short that was, if it were not for the principles that we followed.

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