The hubby and I watched Richard Eyre’s The Other Man the other day. It has been a while since the hubby and I watched a movie together. There are a few that we have lined up but the tons of work prevent us from watching movies very often.
This particular film focuses on the story through the husband’s eye. It was told in such interesting manner, as opposed to what is usual in movies of such taste – crime of passion. I will post a more decent movie review in the coming days.
“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears . . . believes . . . hopes . . . endures all things.” (1 Cor. 13:4-7)
To love and to be loved is the bedrock of our existence. But love must also flex and adapt. Rigid love is not true love. It is veiled manipulation, a conditional time bomb that explodes when frustrated. Genuine love willingly waits! It isn’t pushy or demanding. While it has its limits, its boundaries are far-reaching. It neither clutches nor clings. Real love is not short-sighted, selfish, or insensitive. It detects needs and does what is best for the other person without being told.
This is so true. God has indeed designed us for love relationships. Life is just an empty shell without them. This is why I cannot be more thankful for the marriage that the Lord has put me in. Ours is not a perfect marriage but with God’s grace, has allowed for our unique personalities to come together beautifully for His glory.
Being spontaneous is something that we cannot afford as much anymore. This is why we are grateful that I gave birth to our son 3 years after we got married. It was relatively a long wait. But God knew that we needed that much time to adjust to each other to be able to give our son the kind of family that He has in mind for us to have. God’s timing is ever perfect.
One cause of failure of marriage is selfishness. Selfishness points out to the very root of a person’s being – sin. This is why a lot of people will agree with us when we say that marriage is a humbling experience. What could be more humbling than giving up some of the things that you want for the benefit of your spouse. And it does not just happen in one day. An endless cycle of giving is required of every married person to ensure a harmonious relationship. It’s either that or it becomes a one way street.
Of course no one enters into marriage with the intention of failing. But still the sad part is, many do. If we look a step back, we can see that couples are naturally close during dating and then become gradually distant when they get married. It seems so natural for us to want to please our partner when we are still dating but when we become more familiar with them in marriage, the very things that attract you to your mate are now the cause of irritation. The difference is magnified many times over and couples find themselves pulling away from each other as time goes by. If only couples will work harder to please each other as they were in their courtship stage, then things will be a little lot brighter.
I am not looking any further. I am going to talk about our marriage. No matter how much my husband and I love each other, because we are two different individuals, we sometimes want to do things our own way. It is good when we agree on issues, but what happens when we don’t? The truth of the matter is, it is easier to spot selfishness in my mate than myself. What comes next will be a matter of choice for both of us.
The hubby is back practicing his favorite game of all time — football. It has been a while since he last joined his team mates in Marikina United. I cannot be more happy for him. He is always so thrilled every time he gets the chance to play in a real tournament.
Now that the holidays are over, people are altogether bustling back to their regular routine and that includes us. I know I have failed to do our anniversary post during the holidays and I also know I have a handful of other backlogs waiting to be sat and worked on.
I can’t believe our marriage is turning 8 years old in a couple of days! We tied the knot on Dec 8, 2001. Here is a link to our love story. I cannot claim to have a perfect marriage with my ever dashing husband. That’s just highly unlikely in such a selfish world that we are all in. We’ve also had our not so good years. In fact, it took a special couple to mentor us to have us where we are right now. They were not just mentors but they also served as living examples of what God intended marriage to be. It took us a while to shape up. We were young and selfish, we made mistakes along the way but it was through the journey that the Lord molded us to the people that we are right now.
I cannot imagine myself not married to Jeff. When I look back to my single life, I realized that I practically threw it all away by being in all the wrong relationships. The void that I felt in my own family back then drove me to look for love and affirmation in all the wrong places. Although I was not spectacular, I have always believed that I have a good head on my shoulders and although I may not be as stunning as those who ramp the catwalk, I did have my share of admirers, a pretty good bunch of them, back during my single years. Now I can only hope I had someone who had walked me through my youth back then. Which brings me to two of the things I am passionate about, intentional parenting and mentorship.
As I’ve previously mentioned in a post I wrote last year, unlike most girls I know, I am not particularly fond of receiving flowers as gift from my dear husband. It did take a while before my hubby was able to understand and grasp this odd thing about me. But whenever anyone else would give me flowers, I don’t mind and actually appreciate it but not if it comes from him.
MarriageandBeyond.com was officially launched first week of December 2007. Posts were live from Nov. 27, but importation of contents from their previous free hosted site wasn’t quite done yet until December. I have been blogging since 2004, so even though MarriageandBeyond is still practically a baby, its contents traces back to four years ago, which you guys will find in this site’s Archive.
At the very beginning of the Bible, when God created the first couple, everything was perfect. If anybody should have had a perfect relationship it would have been Adam and Eve. No children. They’re alone in paradise. No in-laws to give advice. No bills to pay. No work to come home from. No interruptions. No clothes. The perfect environment for a perfect marriage relationship.
Yet, when sin entered the world it brought a new dimension to the relationship and that was fear. Fear came into the world. And how does fear damage our relationship? Three things:
*When we are afraid of our faults, we become defensive.
Four weeks ago we started a series entitled “Family Matters” in our church in Makati. This series is about topics on the family and it will run until November 29. Yesterday’s message was about overcoming differences in relationships, particularly in marriage.
The principles shared relates to all relationships. The fact is, whenever two people relate together closely, in a close intimate way, the issue that often has to be addressed first is, “How do we deal with our differences?”
First, I would just like to tell you something about our marriage. This coming December 8, Jennie and I will be celebrating our 8th year of marriage. I’d be lying if I said we’re living a happily ever after kind of marriage. We’ve had to work very hard at our marriage and God has worked miracles in our marriage. There was a stage we thought we wouldn’t make it. But God has worked miracles. We’ve loved each other dearly and we’ve disliked each other immensely. We’ve been through sickness and health. We’ve been through richer and poorer. And we’ve been through better and worse. And we give God glory today that He’s brought our relationship where we are comfortable but with God’s grace, are still working on our marriage to become better.
As I mentioned in a review I have done of the most wonderful book, Fascinating Womanhood by Helen B. Andelin, I have read the softbound copy nearly thirty times. After acquiring an e-book copy several months back, I finally got myself to reading the Secrets of the Fascinating Womanhood and I am really thrilled how much more this is packed with very practical applications – as its primary focus, while the softbound book’s is more on the principles.
The first secret to the world of Fascinating Womanhood is ACCEPT HIM AS HE IS. This is something that I admit to having a hard time right from the moment my husband and I became a couple. Two individuals coming together from two different sets of family origin, with different values and upbringing, what should we expect, really. This is why a marriage really changes a person. You are taught to drop selfishness from the core of your being or suffer the consequences of holding on to it.
What does accepting really mean, anyway? Accepting your husband means NOT TRY TO CHANGE HIM. Accepting all his habits, weakness, dreams, or even lack of them, even his beliefs.
I cannot emphasize enough how the hubby has been wonderful through and through, especially during and after the storm that was. It meant a great deal that he spared me the sight of the storm’s aftermath. He had me come home a couple of days after. Although stench was still there, what I can only see from how it left the house was from the pictures. And I can only imagine how gruesome it would have been to see it in person. You have to cut me some slack because I did have to go through weeks and weeks of cleaning up too, together with my trusty weekend girl who made herself available every single day since day one after the storm.
Last August 20, 2009, dear hubby joined the Honda Challenge Cup, Drive Every Drop and landed first in their category. The category being, 1.3 A/T Honda City. I honestly was not surprised as I have always seen my man to join every game to win. From soccer to the ministry, he is a very driven man.
