MarriageandBeyond.com is turning 2 this December with a blog contest and we are raffling off Dr. James Dobson’s Best Seller, The New Dare to Discipline book and P500 worth of Starbucks GCs to one of our dear readers. This contest is open to all Philippine residents. With the consideration that at least 55.9% of our readers are from the United States, and if you happen to live in another country and you have a local address I could send the book to, in case you win, then you’re in!
In celebration of our 8th wedding anniversary, we added the P500 worth of Starbucks GCs that you guys could use to treat your loved ones on a date or even help you grab a hold of that must have planner. We figured what was best to go well with a book and it’s GCs from Starbucks, no less. The hubby and I love to spend time reading our own sets of books over Fraps of our choice.
BiblicalParenting.org has once again tackled another controversial topic. They rightly entitled it, “Be Careful with Triangles” and it explains why it is important for the husband and the wife to be a team when it comes to disciplining their child and the dynamics behind the different personalities in one’s family and how to go about them to promote healing, when hurt takes place.
Be Careful with Triangles
Triangles in relationships happen often in family life. Conflict between two people can become an invitation for another person to join in. If parents aren’t careful, and create triangles inappropriately, people get hurt. But if triangles are used properly, they become great opportunities for healing and learning. Here are some examples to watch out for:
• A child who is unhappy with Dad’s discipline may go to Mom and try to get her to overrule a decision.
• A dad may criticize the way Mom is handling a situation.
• A child may go to Dad with a proposal to get around Mom’s instructions.
• A teen may get angry with Mom for the way she’s treating his brother.
• One child may tattle on another.
Each of these situations represents an opportunity. Some advice suggests that triangles are always wrong and warn not to get involved. We don’t believe that’s the answer. Rather we suggest you triangle in as a counselor or coach instead of a critic.
I had the most interesting time with fellow mommies last Saturday, November 21, 2009, during the Johnson & Johnson’s Bedtime Discoveries event in Manila Peninsula. It zeroes in on the importance of sleep in a baby’s routine. Right from the moment my husband and I learned that we were pregnant, we were set on doing things right from the beginning. As a newbie parents-to-be, we investigated on different parenting techniques and were sold out to the routine principles of Babywise. We can totally vouch for it even as this little guy we have who is now 4 years old has been sleeping through the night since he turned two months old and more than just that he has been one happy baby since.
the very pregnant and lively Ms. Christine Bersola-Babao hosted the event
The Bedtime Discoveries event affirmed the way we raised our son, even as Dr. Luis Rivera, Vice President of Philippine Society of Sleep Medicine further explained how essential sleep is in a baby’s daily routine. Although we strongly believe in getting a baby into a routine, we also made sure as well that we do not have a rigid one, this is when it comes to feeding and every other baby’s activity during the day. But when it comes to our baby’s sleep routine, a schedule one was essential. This allowed for him to condition himself and anticipate what’s next, over time. We first wash him up before we get him ready for bed, baby massage and then we will read his baby picture Bible. He’s had it since he was a few months old. This routine worked wonders for him.
Dr. Luis Rivera, Vice-President of the Philippine Society of Sleep Medicine
We counted three years into our marriage before our son came. One thing my husband and I were set on right from the time we learned we were pregnant was to start right as we parent our child. This is why I have tried to be at my best health ever even from gestation. I made sure there were no missed appointments and we completed our preparation for childbirth classes for Lamaze/Bradley. We even enrolled ourselves in child care classes. There was no way we were leaving parenting to chance. Needless to say, we were really thrilled to welcome our son when he arrived in May 2005.
Even before I gave birth, I was keen on exclusively breastfeeding him and then later have him on a brown rice diet, aside from making sure we don’t miss immunization appointments. These were the least that we could do to make sure our son stays healthy.
with our days old son, Jed
When our son was ready for semi-solid foods, I made a mistake of introducing instant baby foods to him at first. The convenience is there, true. But I can only be grateful enough that we were able to shift to brown rice which I dutifully grind first before cooking until he was ready for solids. I bought a grinder especially for this purpose. Our son easily adjusted to the taste of naturally cooked brown rice, vegetables and fruits. No need for instant cereals or what nots.
Why brown rice, you might ask. Polished rice means that a major percentage of B vitamins are destroyed and that includes80% of Vitamin B1, 67% of Vitamin B3, 90% of B6, 50% Manganese, 50% Phosphorus, 60% Iron, aside from the benefits of fiber that can only be found in unpolished rice. Although it was a tad more tedious to prepare than giving the regular instant baby cereal, there was no way I’m withholding my son the benefit of eating brown rice. Brown rice has to be soaked in the water it will be boiled in for at least 30 minutes. Nothing instant, I tell you.
Last week was an extremely busy day for me. The little guy had to sleep over at my folks thrice. That means I went home late at least three times last week. As much as the grannies love this little guy of ours, there is just something about him being with them that when he comes back home, it’s like he’s totally a different kid! Like seriously. It could also be that he is most likely to have his way with his grannies than otherwise. My folks see the effect and after a while they back off from spoiling him.
Toddler sleep regression, is it even the right term for it? My son has been sleeping in his own bed since he turned two. But lately since the storm, we co-sleep more often. His bed was soaked in flood water and had to be thrown away. We all went back to the family bed, which was actually “banig” for sometime, because of our circumstance.
We have since were able to replace his thrown bed with an airbed and his bed box with a double bunk bed. Although he still sleeps in his room at night, he would cry out in the middle of the night and get to our bed. The regression is probably caused by the calamity that befell us but last night he successfully slept through the night in his own bed. Don’t get me wrong, I love him in our bed but aside from those flying kicks and karate chops that I get in my deepest sleep, our queen sized bed just won’t fit the three of us comfortably anymore. He’s growing bigger everyday and his tendency to be like a heat seeking missile since he was a tiny infant is still there. It crams me toward the hubby. I sleep in between them and I actually will not be surprised if dear daddy falls off the bed one of these days.
Here is our 4 year old Jed reciting Psalm 100. It has been a while since he last recited the chapter and he has kind of forgotten some of the verses, which explains the “and thens” in betweens.
Psalm 100
1Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands.
2Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing.
3Know ye that the LORD he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.
4Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.
5For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.
It’s now or never — at least when it comes to teaching children the value of time and the discipline of time management.
“Parenting experts have said it time and again—childhood is the best time to ingrain the skill of time management,” points out Kelvin Ngo, Operations Manager of Kids Watch Central. “Studies tell us that 80% of a typical workday is wasted on unimportant tasks and wasted time – a statistic that could have been prevented if only these adults had been disciplined early on.”
To help raise awareness on the importance of time management among children, Kids Watch Central will be holding Kids Watch Central Family Fun Summit 2009 a parenting seminar on time management that takes this issue head-on. “It may sound like a cliché, but now’s the right time to do something about it;
Real Mothers, Real Lessons
“What makes Kids Watch Central Family Fun Summit 2009 different is that the lessons from it are not textbook-based. The insights that will be shared are from real-life mothers who actually had to experience teaching their kids first-hand,” notes Ngo.
Yesterday, my son and I wrapped up our first quarter of homeschooling. I cannot be more proud of him! Right from the time that we started, how he memorized the visualized instructions by heart, which is foundational to every pace that we use for every single subject of every single school day. I never had a hard time getting him through the homeschooling routine, to start with. I cannot be more convinced that this is exactly what I should be doing. My heart is full and I am overjoyed as I see right before my very eyes how his eyes light up as he learns new things and all the developments! How he associates everyday things with the new learnings. How he can locate countries and places around the globe and to think that it has only been less than 3 months!!! I can go on and on about these things, but here’s one thing for sure– in my heart I know that this is exactly the place that I should be and not the sidelines. Read the rest of this entry »
A follow up to Parent Talk 101 last April is Parent Talk 102: Developing Responsible Teens. With Pastor Clem Guillermo. This will be held on October 17, 2008, Saturday, 9 A.M. to 4 P.M. at Cinema 11, SM City North Edsa. Tickets at P200 each.
“Welcome to the Magical World of Story Telling where legends and myths of pirates and princesses, tales and chronicles of fairies and fantasy will come alive in Manila!”
I feel blessed to have a husband who I am a team with when it comes to parenting. Some have to do child rearing by themselves. Through past mistakes and sometimes no fault of their own, a handful of adults have to parent their child without a spouse’s help. While we see it as a challenge to train up a child, it is even doubly hard for a single parent.
While this is not the picture that God has planned for a child to grown up in, we have to remember that ours is not a perfect world. Wiser single parents will thrive and still teach their children the same godly principles in bringing them up even without a spouse present.
I may never know how it is to parent a child single handedly, but this much I know, honesty and integrity should be a priority. As a child grows, he or she will be driven to ask why the other parent does not live with them. Make sure to emphasize that even as you admit to your child that you committed a mistake in the past, that he is NOT a mistake. If you happen to be divorced or separated, emphasize as well that God’s plan is for husband and wife to remain married to each other for as long as they live. This is an important foundation you will be teaching your child. In the event that you fail to mention this to him, he may grow up thinking that the default of married couples is the same as your situation. Never speak evil of your former spouse. This will prove to be a challenge especially if you think you have enough reason to hold a grudge against him or her. Allow your child to form their own opinions of both his parents as he matures.
Here is another valuable parenting insight that we can use in our homes.
One of the roadblocks to harmony in family life is when siblings act foolishly and end up hurting or offending each other. Foolishness may be demonstrated by teasing and playing around beyond what’s appropriate or wanted. Usually one person wants to stop before the other. Angry words and tears often bring an end to what started out as fun. Incorporating a “Stop Rule” in your family will help children, and parents for that matter, know when to quit.
Even before my son started showing his first tooth at 7 months, I had him use an infant oral brush to take care of his gums. Prior to that, I used to wipe off milk off his mouth and gums with a wet washcloth. It will not just eliminate decay causing bacteria but will also prepare his mouth for the later introduction of toothbrush. I have seen far too plenty of kids all over who have dental caries and end up losing majority of the teeth they have even before they are ready to fall off and have their permanent teeth. I knew from the beginning that I am not going to allow that to happen to my son. This is why I think it is very important that we encourage our children the habits that they form from the beginning.
Our son when he was 9 months old. It took me a while before I found this shot. It was in the Feb 2006 folder. I am really thankful I got all the photos listed by month/year album. Infant oral toothbrushes usually have this stopper that prevents babies getting the brush all the way down their throats. Read the rest of this entry »
As a follow up to a more recent article on Understanding Receptive and Expressive Language in Babies, I hope to share the things we have learned to encourage the development of your child’s language skills. It helped that my husband and I were right from the beginning a team with our desire to become pro active parents. We did not want to just stay in the sidelines and watch our child go with the flow. So far, in our four years, I can only say that we’re happy with the choices that we made.
