posted by Jennie on Jan 4
Most men are generally not inclined towards cleanliness like women are. This is a gender stereotype that is, in fact, true in a lot of cases. There are still men that like a clean and organized house but do not want to contribute to the cleanliness in any way. Thus, it leads to arguments between you and your better half about responsibilities and commitments. Are you one of those people who are tired of those arguments?
The main question is – Should men do housework? Ideally, they should. There is no question about that but how do you make them help you with the housework? There are a few ways in which this could work for you…
1. Be Specific and Respectful – Most discussions about household works end up with couples fighting and arguments getting out of hand. You don’t want that. Be respectful towards your partner when you are asking them to work. Whatever you need, be specific and very clear with your instructions. Since you do the work daily, it is easy for you to do it but for someone who doesn’t know what to do, it can be difficult and complicated.
Hence, spell out the instructions nicely in a concise manner so that they don’t get confused.
2. Discuss the Problem – Don’t be angry and don’t order him around. If there is something you need helping with, discuss it with him and invite his opinions. If you are planning to repaint, take his advice on color choices or show him your color choices for the room. He would appreciate this gesture. Even if you don’t agree with his views on things, be patient and tolerant. It is best to do such things yourself and let him do things
that don’t have scope for much argument.
3. Add a Personal Touch – Adding a personal touch always makes it about love and not the household chore. Use terms of endearment like “honey” and “sweetie” and he would be much more tolerant toward helping. Also, it is good to offer incentives in the beginning. If he does the dishes for a week, you could surprise him with something in the bedroom that fulfills his fantasy. Or you could invite his friends over on the game day
and let them have the house to themselves while you go out.
4. Do not Criticize When He Fails – Remember when you tried to cook spaghetti for the first time and put in too much marinara? Well, and now compare that first spaghetti to the one you cook now. The difference is due to practice. You man isn’t used to performing household chores and there are chances that he would fail. Don’t belittle or criticize him when he does, but praise his efforts.
You have to be open to communication and offer him a chance to speak as well. Respect what he says, if he is uncomfortable doing certain tasks, pushing the issue will not be of help. Keeping in mind that your man did not come from the same culture your family origin is from. The overall tone of request for his hand (muscles, to be more precise) will make all the difference.
Housework or any other task, for that matter, that is done naturally without pressure can actually be fun and light.