Marriage and Beyond

One of the books I’m currently reading is On Becoming Chidwise by Ezzo and Bucknam. I started reading it when I was waiting at the doc’s clinic a couple of weeks back. I got it for a bargain price and I’m really glad to get a hold of it.

One of the things that reminded both me and Jeff is the foundational topic on that book that we have taken for granted for the longest time, “Couch Time.” Right from the first of its series, “On Becoming Baby Wise,” to the next of its series “On Becoming Toddlerwise,” up to this current book that I am occupied with, this has been periodically emphasized and we believe the authors know what they are saying when they say that first things have to come first. As Childwise Principle #1 would have it: “Great Marriages Make Great Parents.” We have been rearing our son from the principles from the Babywise series and we see (alongside the people who come across our child) the benefits it has brought us and him as well.

Enjoying our child is a given, but the second goal of parenting is to raising children that are a joy to be with and a blessing to those around them. And we can only do this if we prioritize our marriage. Nothing will give more insecurity to a child than seeing the parents tear each other apart. The “Couch Time” will compel both me and the hubby to sit with each other for ten to fifteen minutes (this is hard especially when there are plenty of things to do). A child needs to see concretely that his parents love each other and needs to know that mom comes first before the child. People have this mistake of giving all the attention to a child that his tendency is to grow up thinking that the world revolves around him — this is only one of the negative effects of putting the child first before your spouse. It’s really a win-win proposition. Nothing to lose and everything to gain. “The best years of parenting will flow out of the best years of marriage,” as the authors put it.

I have been doing a lot of catching up on my chores since I got discharged from the hospital, plus the many things I have to take care of in between, business and otherwise, which is why I got stuck on Chapter Three of the book. I intend to be done finish it this month and move on to the other books I have forgotten that I have on queue. There’s another book I hope to later read, Reconciliation: Islam, Democracy and the Westy by Benazir Bhutto. Written just a few days before her assassination. That book might just be next in line.

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