Marriage and Beyond

Ephesians 4:31-32 “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. “

As written in a previous post, quarrels, fights, conflicts in any marriage is normal and inevitable. There are even situations when the disappointment, hurt and pain caused by the offending party is so unbearable that the offended party sometimes loses hope of reconciliation or restoration.

The Bible teaches about the sin nature of human beings – that we were born sinners. Which means that we do wrong, foolish and stupid things because we are sinners, not the other way around (which is ‘we are sinners because we do wrong things’). See Romans 5:12 “Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned-…”

This sin nature guarantees every couple of the hurts and pain that they will give each other. Our capability to make mistakes or even choose them makes conflicts, frustrations and offense in a couple’s relationship a given.

The difficult but very effective solution that God gives through His word is forgiveness. And His example is Christ, how He has forgiven us.

Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

This Biblical definition of forgiveness is quite radical because here we are commanded to forgive not because the person who offended us deserves forgiveness, nor because the offender has admitted the offense. Rather, forgiveness, as exemplified by Christ, in its application, is more for the offended party. As the passage in Ephesians quoted above clarifies, the purpose of forgiveness is to set the offended party free of the bitterness, the anger and the rage that results from another person’s offense against him or her. This type of forgiveness is as sacrificial as Christ’s death for all sinners. It is as painful as what Christ felt when He endured the ridicule and unbelief of the very same people He created. But Biblical forgiveness is also as liberating as Christ’s resurrection after His death.

This coming Valentine’s day, may this entry be of help for couples who fell hopeless about their own marriages – God is in the business of turning deaths into resurrections.

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